Love and ish

Lengthy but juicy xxoo ;) 

t: You are really in love man oh man

c: Yes I am and I’m trying to see if it’s possible to have a relationship free of cheating. I don’t know if it’s possible but I’m going to do my part and see what happens. No matter how good someone’s s*x is, it’s human nature to want to fxck someone else. Cheating has nothing to do with the person you have at home being a fail in the bedroom. New is exciting even if it’s worse than what you’re already getting. You will regret cheating for some whack sex but it’s exciting to fxck a new person. I’m pretty sure I was a man or an animal in my former life because monogamy seems inhumane and cruel but in an effort to not die of AIDS, I’ll be monogamous. Besides, I mostly just feel that way about heterosexual relationships.

t:  Given this theory, I don't understand why you don't stay single.

c:  Oh Lordie this message totally came back to me as undeliverable because I didn’t bleep out a letter in vagina. LMAO Anyway, I don’t want my vagina to be too friendly so I get into relationships. It’s like this: I like being in relationships but I used to think whatever man I was dating would cheat so I would cheat on him at some point in the relationship. I have no real respect for men so I cheated because I didn’t care but since I’ve never dated a woman before and have no reason to think I’m being cheated on so I’m being good.

t:  Sorry you don't trust men. So a man will cheat but a lesbian won't?

c:  Men aren’t trustworthy. I’m sure lesbians cheat but that hasn’t been MY experience yet so I’m doing something different. If my gf and I were to break up and I dated a man I would more than likely cheat on him and not flinch. I truly believe most, if not all men are full of shxt but some try to keep it together longer than others before they eventually give in to temptation. That’s not why I’m with a woman though. I’m with a woman because I like lady parts and they turn me on much more than schlongs do. Simple as that.

t:  I've grown to know that you make very strong generalizations on stuff so I'm not surprised by your viewpoint but I am a bit saddened that you place limitations on yourself based on a few experiences when life is filled with a million of them. It seems like because your gf hasn't cheated you're using that to justify your point when the reason she hasn't could be plenty. You're a cheater so to say men can't trusted seems a little off when you contribute to the problem my friend. Maybe one day you will let go of your inhibitions with love and stop viewing it as such a damaging process. That's my wish for you ;)

c:  I haven’t placed any limitations on myself and I'm a reformed cheater thank you very much. Men can’t be trusted. Hell, I could't be trusted but I’m working on it. I have no inhibitions with love because I’m currently in a loving and fulfilling relationship so you don’t have to be sad, worried, or hopeful for me. No matter what, I will always believe all men cheat. The most a woman can hope for is that her lover doesn’t get caught so she can continue to think she has a good man. None of this will apply to me until I get cheated on and find myself back out here dating people trying to discern who’s the least full of shxt. Thank God right now I’m happy and if that changes it’s fine because such is a life. There are plenty more people in the world. Relationships don’t devastate me. I move on pretty quickly…sometimes before the last relationship fully ends. Life is short fxck it.

t:  I'll stop reading after the second sentence...I figured that would be your pessimistic response.

c:  The truth is the truth. Deny it if you want to. That’s fine.

t:  That may be YOUR truth but it most certainly isn't THE truth.

c:  What percentage of your friends do you know who have been in a relationship with a man longer than 3.5 years hasn’t been cheated on? *waiting*

t:  Considering the fact that I have 4 friends...I would gather it would be 25% however...if we took the poll outside of my very small sampling population, we would see better results.  Men cheat, women cheat..whatever...that wasn't my argument or question rather it was why you thought your relationship now was currently cheat proof (I know those weren't your exact words).  What happens if she decides to cheat? 

c:  Those definitely weren’t even close to my words. If she decides to cheat then all I could do is cheat, break up with her, or both. Those are pretty much the only options. Then I’ll eventually get with someone else and wait for them to cheat if that's what they choose to do.

t:  Wow that sounds like an awfully sucky relationship cycle.  Again, my thought is if you stopped getting in "relationships" than you wouldn't be cheating and neither would they.

c:  That’s pretty much how it goes if you don’t have kids. Women with kids tend to stay, beg their man to stop cheating on them, ignore obvious and blatant signs of cheating, and wrap themselves up into their children. The purpose of getting into a relationship is the likelihood that your partner won’t cheat and neither will you. Relationships are wonderful until the lies and cheating starts. That is why I’m not single. I enjoy being with the person I’m with and I love her very much so no cheating for me.

t:  Why is it so hard for you to believe that there are tons of healthy, non-cheating and loving relationships that last?  I don't have a million dollars but that doesn't stop me from thinking I can't in the future and there are lots of people currently with large accounts.  Maybe not the most heart-wrenching analogy but the idea is this:  Just because you haven't experienced something doesn't mean plenty of people (women aren't).  And by you I mean people.  I would be cheating myself by basing all of my future relationships on my failed marriage. 

c:  Ummmm….attention ma'am: I am IN a relationship and had I based this relationship off my failed marriage I would be single because I would think relationships are pointless. I don’t think relationships aren’t pointless but I’m not going to be devastated to the point of not being able to move on if she decides to cheat because that’s what people do but in the meantime in between time I am going to enjoy my relationship because it’s drama free. Who knows what the future will bring but as of right now, I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable and care. It may be great or it may blow up in my face. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens but I'm giving her my trust, faithfulness, and commitment to this relationship and I believe she's doing the same.

t:  Ok let me rephrase this question....Why is it so hard for you to believe that there are tons of healthy, non-cheating and loving relationships between men and women that are longer than 6 months?

c:  Ohhhhhhhhhhh…because that’s rare. I’m sure it exists but supposedly dinosaurs also existed…we’ve just never seen them. Most men and women who have been together forever totally love each other but don’t like each other. The sex becomes few and far between, the conversations lack substance, they don’t know how to have fun together, they start doing stuff separately, and by the fifth year someone has cheated or threatened to divorce the other person. Just because people have decided to spend thirty years of their lives together don’t mean they’re happy or in a healthy relationship. They just don’t want to go through the same ish with the next person because for the most part all relationships are the same. Everything is great in the beginning and just kind of fizzle out. You can’t keep living in the same house for years expecting to love it as much as you did when you first got the keys. You can paint the walls, change the furniture, renovate the basement but at the end of the day you’re going to want a new house. There are some people who will stay in that house because of the memories, the unwillingness to move to a new area, and the frustration of packing but there are others who will say, “out with the old and in with the new” and call up a realtor to find a new place. That’s pretty much how relationships are.

t:  Are you imagining this to be the case or have you spoken to couples who have been married for 20 plus years. Let's separate fact from fiction here.

c:  I don’t just make this ish up and you know as good as I do that there are couples who are married and have been for quite some time who don’t touch, talk about anything other than important stuff and their children, kiss, sleep together, or even sleep in the same room. Surely you don’t think I pulled this out of my assss. If you stop trying to fight what I’m saying and face the facts, you’ll realize I’m right. I don’t care if you only know eight people. If those eight people are in relationships and have been with the same person longer than 3.5 years you need to be honest about the state of their relationships and remember together doesn’t necessarily equal happy and healthy. I think you know I’m right but you want to be in la-la land a little while longer.

t:  I'm not fighting what you're saying but what i wish you would acknowledge is how one sided a lot of your viewpoints are. I bet that had you grown up around marriage and had yours been successful, while you may still recognize troubles in any relationship, your perspective might be different. There are two sides of a coin- look at both sides before creating an unwavering opinion. 

c:  Had I grown up around a lot of married couples and stayed with my husband, I would still feel the same way. The current divorce rate in America is 41%. That obviously doesn’t include those who are currently leading lives as single people/separated (married) couples, women who don’t want to be single mothers, those who should be divorced because they’re married to a piece of shxt, men who have adopted the belief, “it’s cheaper to keep her” and those who just can’t afford to get a divorce. I’ll bet if they took a poll of all those people the rate would double thus proving my point that most people aren’t in happy healthy relationships but there are certainly those who are. Those people do not make up the majority. That’s all I’m saying. It is a fact. It’s evident on every block in America and you cannot deny this. My views are not one sided because I acknowledge that some people really are happy but they’re rare. So you would say the majority of the married couples you know who have been married for 5+ years seem to be happy and from what you’ve observed their relationships are healthy? You would argue that point? Really?! You just hate to think I’m right. I’m not pessimistic, I’m realistic. I didn’t grow up around a lot of married people but I know plenty now as an adult and these jokers are together but far from truly happy. They just make it work because most of them have children. That’s what people with kids do.

t:  Ok

c:  HA! I'm right! Of course I am. 

t:  I didn't say Ok cause you were right...I was driving