Quick Thoughts

T:  I don't know if this is religious or cultural or what but why are we conditioned to think that if a relationship doesn't work out or yield the expected results that the two people have to completely part ways? I've noticed that people are taken back by the fact that I'm not angry and trippin over what my husband did but I think I've evolved enough to think that just because my marriage is over doesn't mean that our relationship is. We love each other and will be friends and probably much more effective co-parents now anyway...my thought is, why can't we just accept the blessings and gifts that our partners leave with us instead of thinking its about boom and despair?

R: I completely agree that's why I'm still "friends" with all of my exes

 
L: DEEP

 
R: I think when you stay angry at someone it takes too much energy out of you... let go and just relax and live life

L: I understand but some people just cant do it

 
T: Why can't they? Is it fear?

R: I agree with L sometimes your feelings can get the best of you and you just can't help it but when you learn how to control it you will feel sooooo much better

 L: could be..fear that being around, talking to them etc may make them have those feelings for them that they know they shouldn't have

 T: L, you should read Super Rich too. There is a part when Russell says that he got mad at the Beastie Boys for leaving Def Jam and they stopped talking for awhile until he realized they weren't his to begin with and learned to accept the gifts they brought to the label. I think that's powerful. These people aren't ours and they don't belong to us. God gives them to us for the time he wants to serve a purpose whether its for them or us...when its over, its over. I think we get into a lot of trouble when we fight how long a person is supposed to be with us.

I could stay married to my husband but I think the reason he was lent to me has been accomplished, I learned to love unconditionally and now I can go apply that elsewhere. I will be forever thankful to him for teaching me that as opposed to being hurt and bitter that our marriage didn't work.

 L: Damn, That's some real shit